Before I think about a child’s screen time, I find it useful to think about our own.
The phone we pick up to check one thing. The difficulty putting it down when we are tired. The way a few spare minutes disappear into it. Most of us know something about that pull from the inside.
That is a useful place to begin a conversation with a child. We can recognise how absorbing screens are while still taking responsibility for limits. It also helps us notice what the screen is doing in the household before we try to remove it.
For a parent, it may be the thing that makes cooking dinner possible. For a child, it may offer predictable enjoyment after a demanding day. Those realities belong in the conversation about how much is too much.
The guidance
What do the Australian guidelines say?
The Australian Government’s guidance for the early years recommends no sedentary screen time for children under two. For two-year-olds and preschoolers, the recommendation is no more than one hour a day.
For school-age children and young people aged five to seventeen, the recommendation is no more than two hours of sedentary recreational screen time a day. Schoolwork is excluded from that figure.
These recommendations are useful. They don’t tell us everything about an individual child’s day, or how a family can move towards a workable balance.
A video call with a grandparent, drawing on a tablet and watching an endless stream of short videos are different experiences. A communication device also has a different purpose from recreational viewing. We need to understand the activity, the child’s age and what else is happening around it.
I would pay attention to what screens make possible and what they are crowding out. Is there enough room for sleep, movement, meals and connection? Does the child still have opportunities to do things they enjoy away from a device? Are the content and online contacts suitable and safe? Those questions sit alongside the clock.
What the screen offers
Look at its place in the day
Sometimes the answer is simply enjoyment. There doesn’t have to be a deeper explanation for every game a child likes.
At other times, screens offer something that is much harder to find elsewhere. The rules are clear. The child knows how to succeed. They can control the volume, choose what happens next or spend time with people who share an interest. A game may also be where a friendship is happening.
I would also wonder whether the screen has become company when a child feels lonely. That gives us something to attend to alongside the amount of time they spend on it.
For the family, screen use might create a little space in a day with very little of it. If a parent is working, unwell, caring for another child or trying to get through the evening alone, an approach that requires constant adult entertainment may be impossible.
Understanding this helps us make a workable plan. If the screen is providing recovery, it is worth finding another form of rest before reducing it. If it offers connection, we need to take that connection seriously. If it creates time to cook, the alternative needs to leave enough room for dinner to happen.
Their interests
Start with something they already enjoy
If a child already loves something away from screens, that gives us a place to start. Make it a little easier for that interest to happen. Have the materials accessible. Protect some time for it. Find someone who enjoys it with them.
If they seem interested only in screens, I would look more closely at what they do there.
A child who loves building digital worlds might enjoy making something with boxes or construction pieces. An interest in a game’s characters might become drawing, costumes or telling stories. Someone who enjoys making videos may like planning a scene or taking photographs. These are possibilities to offer, not replacements the child is obliged to like.
The point is to begin with an interest that is already alive. We don’t have to persuade a child to become interested in something entirely unrelated just because we have decided it is healthier.
Some company
Make a little room to try something together
In my experience, changing a familiar routine often needs a period when we are more available to help it get started. That does not have to mean taking leave or rearranging the whole family’s life.
Choose a small window when someone has a little capacity: part of a weekend morning, an evening activity, a walk after dinner. Know what will happen during that time. Adults can join in, with their own devices put aside where possible.
There is a different feeling when everyone is trying something together. The child has company, and a chance to discover what they actually enjoy about the time. I want them to experience what time away from the screen offers, rather than only being told that less screen time would be good for them.
I like the idea of bringing a few ordinary things back into physical form. Listening to music without browsing at the same time. Playing cards. Taking photographs with a camera. Use what you already have. The useful part is making an activity available without every doorway leading back to a phone.
Switching off
Make stopping part of the plan
Discuss an ending before the activity starts. Where possible, choose a natural stopping point and give a reminder. A timer or device setting can support a shared plan, but it cannot do all the work of helping a disappointed child move on.
Small changes to the device can help too: turning off autoplay or unnecessary notifications, or choosing somewhere for it to rest between uses. Keep access to communication and essential supports available.
A difficult ending does not, by itself, establish an addiction. Look at the pattern over time. Persistent sleep loss, withdrawal from other valued activities, unsafe online experiences or conflict that is overwhelming family life deserve closer attention. The eSafety Commissioner’s screen-time guidance offers a useful starting point; a health professional can help when wellbeing is being affected.
For this week, it may be enough to notice one thing your child gets from the screen and make room for another way of experiencing it. Some enjoyment, some competence, some company. A limit is easier to live with when the life around it has something to offer.